Q: Dear Nicky & Neetu,
I am a 21 year old Sindhi boy living with my family in Washington. I have two sisters that i can’t seem to get along with at all. My parents are separated so we live with our mom but she always chooses my sisters’ side every time. They all seem to have a personal vendetta against me even though I go to school, ace my classes, and work two jobs for them. My dad sends money every month but it is not enough for all of us. A while ago I started dating this wonderful girl but she thinks we are one big happy family. She thinks my sisters are my best friends because whenever she comes over, they put on their best face and act extra chummy with me. Things are becoming serious between us but I feel bad – I don’t want her to enter my family with the wrong impression. I can’t stand my sisters and I don’t know how to tell my girlfriend that. Please advice.
Sincerely, Misconstrued, USA

NICKY SAYS:

Dear Misconstructed,
Dude, hhmm hhmmm hhhmmm that’s me singing because it’s a stupid question!!!! I don’t even wanna answer it! Besides I think I’m in love. So instead of even reading your question I’m just sort of drifting away into oblivion!! Ok, ok, haha I bet my editor will not even let me put that in the answer. Look man, simple problem, simple answer. Be a man. Why the hell are you so scared of being honest with your girlfriend? Dude, sooner or later she will be aware of what is going on! I am sure she loves you not because of your family but you for yourself. Look if this girl is really worth it, she will accept you for whatever you are or whatever situation you are in! God knows why but anyway, since she put up with u so far, I’m sure she will still not mind as it is not her who has to deal with this bullshit. Who knows, she might just feel sorry for u and let u get lucky!!! Incentive enough?

Sincerely, NICKY

NEETU SAYS:

Dear Misconstrued:
Why does it matter what your girlfriend thinks about your family? You are only 21 years old. Are you planning on marrying your this girl? My mother always used to tell me that “blood is thicker than water.” Don’t sell your family out for some girl. Siblings always fight – this is a normal occurrence in all families, not just yours. Once you finally move out on your own, your bond with your mother and sisters will become a lot closer. Right now you all live in such close proximity that you are always getting on each others nerves. You are currently the man of the house and feel a lot of pressure, but in the long run this experience will be really beneficial to you. To answer your question, don’t talk to your girlfriend about your family problems, unless you plan on marrying her. Right now your sisters and girlfriend get along, which is a good thing. Don’t interfere unless your sisters start drama with your new girlfriend. Just let things be as they are.

Sincerely, NEETU

Q: Dear Nicky & Neetu,

I’m a 30 year old Sindhi woman living in Panama with my husband and two children. It was a love marriage and for the past several years we were usually happy. The thing is recently things have been very bad at work for my husband and he undergoes way more stress than a man should. He comes home drained out and tired, doesn’t say a word to me, shows no affection towards the children and flops into bed after watching TV for a couple of hours. There has been hardly any communication at home, romance is nonexistent and my children are feeling distant from their father. How do I fix it? I know a woman is supposed to be understanding of the stress a man goes through at work, but how much are we supposed to take? What do I do next to make him understand that life is not only about work?
Sincerely, Fed-Up Woman, Panama

NICKY SAYS:

Dear Fed-Up (ok who thought that one up??? We need to start using real names to spice things up now!!!)
One thing you have to understand is that the world is getting very competitive and difficult for everyone, not only your husband. Things are getting expensive and the people want a better standard of living in general. According to you, it is obvious that your husband is stressed because of work. I feel that you need to do whatever it takes to get him to liven up. The answer is simple… SEX!!! No seriously, sex is the answer to a lot of problems and everyone feels better after that. Of course, I wouldn’t know being the virgin I am saving my flower for my wife and all that, hahaha! But that’s what I hear. Look, you know he is going through a tough time. It happens to everyone. What’s important is that he gets the love and support from his family. Do things he likes. Make his favorite meal. Men are simple and we need simple things to keep us happy. Talk to him but don’t get him to talk to you if he is not comfortable. And for heaven’s sake, please don’t eat his head by complaining and stuff. Treat him like a king but not in an obvious manner. Make him feel loved. You will be surprised at how that affects things.

Sincerely, NICKY

NEETU SAYS:

Dear Fed-Up Women:
Have you tried to ask your husband what the problem is? You say that communication is lacking, but have you tried communicating with him? Have you asked him why he doesn’t want to spend time with the kids or with you? Is it work? Is it you? Have you asked what he is working on in the office? Have you offered your help? Are you sure that your husband isn’t having an affair? Usually a happy loving father will not neglect his children no matter how busy his day is – maybe his wife, but not his children, unless something else is wrong. Maybe the business is going bankrupt and your husband is dealing with all of the money issues, but doesn’t want to tell you. You need to be more supportive of him. He is making the money in the house. Maybe you should cut back on your expenses. I don’t know what advice to give you. Nicky and I are not mind readers! Instead of writing to this magazine, you need to talk your husband or hire a private investigator to figure out what is going on at the office. Sexy lingerie is not going to fix this problem.

Sincerely, NEETU

Q: Dear Nicky & Neetu,

I’m a 22 year old Sindhi boy who’s attending university in New York. I’ve been in love with my best friend as long as I can remember. Every time I see her, I am convinced that there are feelings from her side as well. The only thing that’s stopping me from going forward is the fact that she’s in a serious relationship with this boy who’s abusive (verbally and sometimes physically), manipulative, and cunning. Sometimes she comes crying to me about how mean he is to her, other times she gushes to me how much she loves him. I recognize the signs to realize this is a destructive relationship but every time I try to talk to her about it, she gets angry and says I’m jealous and that I should mind my own business. I care for her a lot – I hate that she’s doing this to herself. How do I make her truly open her eyes?
Sincerely, Concerned, NYC

NICKY SAYS:

Dear Loser!
Dude, just jump her! You will get her attention. Look man, I’m sorry to say this but you have officially entered the friend zone. What you need to do now is to get the hell out before you burn in it! You were there as a friend, weren’t you and where did that get you? You made your point clear to her. Now it’s time for you to show her that you are a man as well and sticking with what you believe! If she asks why you are being weird, tell her directly that she is paving her way into destruction. Tell her that men who hit once will never stop and that she probably enjoys it because she keeps going back for more. Tell her to have some self respect man! And stay out!!! That is very important. Do not get involved in her shit man. Sooner or later she will realize it herself. Everyone just needs their time to figure things out. Let her learn her own lessons. Just go on living your own life. You cannot control what she does. Who knows? You might even meet someone you like more than her. If she gets out she will come to you. Trust me on this because I’m the King and I’m always right!

Sincerely, NICKY

NEETU SAYS:

Dear Concerned NYC:
You are only 22! I know there are probably a thousand other girls at your college that you could date. Why are you acting like such a love sick puppy over some childhood friend? It is obvious that this girl is in a serious relationship with some other guy. She is coming to you as a friend and instead of consoling her you just want to get in her pants. All this girl needs is a friend to talk to and be there for her. She does not need to get advice from someone that has an ulterior motive. All you can do is give your honest opinion on the situation, it is up to her whether or not she chooses to accept it. Even if this girl broke up with her boyfriend, do you think she would automatically jump in your arms and want to date you? Do you want to be that rebound guy? If this girl has feelings for you she will eventually come around. In the meantime, go date other girls! Stop letting your youth pass you by.

Sincerely, NEETU

Q: Dear Nicky & Neetu,
I am a 29 year old Sindhi woman living in Manila. My parents are angry with me because I have turned down many proposals. I dated a few boys and it was fun for a while but before we got too close, I look for ways to end it and move on. My parents accuse me of being ultra fussy because I am beautiful, talented and smart so they think I have really high standards for men. It’s really not it at all…I do want marriage but it is just that I am so afraid of getting intimate with a man. Up till today I have never allowed a boy to touch me because I get instantly disgusted. I think it was because I was molested by an uncle when I was 5 years old, but it was so long ago. I am desperate to find love and settle down, but what chance do I have when every man ultimately wants what I can’t seem to offer?
Sincerely, Untouchable, Tokyo

NICKY SAYS:

Dear Untouchable,
Go skydiving. Get into the plane and feel what you do before you jump. You will be so scared that your heart feels like it’s going to pop out of your mouth. Your body shakes and you can’t move a muscle. Your breaths get shorter. You finally muster up enough courage and take a step towards the door of the plane. You look down and close your eyes. You say a little prayer and jump. For the first few seconds you are so uncomfortable. You cannot breathe but after a few seconds, you start to enjoy the ride and then you start screaming and feel so powerful. You land and have this feeling of accomplishment. You have never been so happy! That, my dear is nothing once you let go of everything that is stopping you and let yourself fall in love. How will you ever experience the good things in life if you hold on to the bad things? It is something you have to do if you want to make the best of today. Shit happened. Read that again! It happened. Past! Take the chance and jump! I did and I never looked back!

Sincerely, NICKY

Dear Untouchable:
First of all I am sorry to hear about what your uncle did to you. It disgusts me to think that someone could do that to a small child. Just realize that it is not your fault. Have you ever considered counseling for what has happened to you? Sadly many children have been in the same situation as you – realize that you are not alone. Do your parents know about what your uncle did? I think that it is time that you tell them the truth as to why you do not want to get married. Honestly, even though you are 29, don’t rush into anything that you are not ready for. I think you need to first trust men before you can get married. My advice to you is to seek professional counseling. Then slowly start dating and overcoming your issues. You probably need to try dating someone that you already trust, like a childhood friend. Getting an arranged marriage or jumping into a relationship is probably not the best thing for you right now. Sadly many children have been in the same situation as you – realize that you are not alone. These issues take a long time to resolve. Don’t be discouraged.

Sincerely, NEETU